Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Ellis' last e-mail

Dear Mom and Dad,
I feel a little lost. A little sad. And a little guilty. My mission is finally ending. I´m thrilled to be seeing you in a week and excited to begin a new phase of my life, but I feel like I´m giving up something beautiful and meaningful and epic. I feel sad to leave and guilty because I´m also happy to go home. Even in these last few weeks I´ve continued to learn and progress to become a more effective missionary and it hurts to know that upward trajectory will be abruptly cut short in a week. I could be so much more effective, teach much better lessons, baptize more people, if I could just have a few more months here. I feel guilty that I haven´t worked harder or baptized more people or been more "meticulously obedient".
However, I´ve also matured enough to realize that this angst, while real, is as generally pointless as angst usually is. However I feel about it, my mission will end in a week, so I might as well just do my best and make the best of it and be happy.

Some reasons to be happy:
Today I was allowed to call my converts to invite them to a fireside where we can meet again. It was kind of a surreal experience to call people I have had almost no contact with for months. I called sweet little Evelyn and the phone was weird and her voice sounded tiny and about a million miles away. Ok, that sounded angsty again. But one of the blessings was talking to Hna Danes, who is now serving in Hurlingham, when I called to ask for numbers. She told me that a woman that I contacted during my last week in Hurlingham was baptized on Christmas and that her daughter was baptized last week. And she told me that she and her companion found a woman I taught once with Hna Navarro who is going to get baptized this week! Her name is Máxima. It was a miracle because M´s brother came to visit and told her he had just been baptized and M said-- "oh, I think I have a pamphlet from your church". She pulled it out and her brother saw my and Hna Navarro´s names and our phone number and said--"they have to come teach you!" So her brother called the number and Hna Danes and her companion started teaching Máxima again and now she is getting baptized this week! I´ve probably written our phone number on a pamphlet less than a dozen times in my entire mission (for safety reasons), but miraculously I left our number on M´s pamphlet! Máxima is the fifth person who has been baptized from contacts I´ve done in Hurlingham, apart from my converts (the others being that mom and her daughter and two references I passed to the elders when I realized my investigators lived in their area) My time in Hurlingham was challenging in many ways and I spent two different transfers without baptisms, but Heavenly Father has worked miracles so that people I contacted or taught could get baptized. It´s a testimony to me of what preach my gospel says: no effort is ever lost! All our good efforts make a difference, even if it doesn´t seem like it at the time!

And when I called Claudio Banega (dad of my first two converts) in Luján, he told me that two weeks ago the family was SEALED IN THE TEMPLE IN URUGUAY! I was so so so so happy. I want to cry just thinking about that.
Speaking of going to the temple, Andrés is going to go in March to do baptisms for the dead for the first time!

Another reason to be happy: Hna Navarro sent me a super cute email encouraging me in my last week on the mission and Katie sent this amazing email saying how important it has been to her to be able to serve a mission simultaenously with me! That made me feel really happy. Yay for good friends!

News of the week:
We had four investigators in sacrament meeting! That is the most we have had as a companionship. Silvia´s son Bryan came (but not Silvia because she was sick), an awesome member brought his kid neighbor (future baptism for Hna Pullan I bet), Carlos (my homeless investigator who actually isn´t homeless cause I realized he lives on my street in an apartment with his sister.) came, and a Peruvian chef we contacted on the street last week miraculously showed up by himself (but we are going to let the elders teach him because he is single and lives alone). So that was exciting. Unfortunately, none of my investigators who had previous attendances showed up, so that means no more baptisms for me. I´m sad about it, especially because I love love love Aylen and really wanted to see her baptism, but I´m ok with it. Andrés baptizing Ariel was pretty much the most fantastic baptism I could have hoped to end my mission with, and my Hurlingham miracles give me hope that many of my investigators will be baptized in the coming months.

Anecdote: According to Preach my Gospel, the Book of Mormon answers the "questions of the soul"-- deep questions about life or personal questions about your own problems. I´ve found this to be true during my mission. Yesterday I had an interesting experience with this principle. The answer to the question "Why should I not abort my baby if I´m a single mom with three kids living in the villa with few economic resources?" is found in 1Nephi 17:1-8. Incidentally, verses 2 and 3 also answer the question "Why did Hna Clark not need to freak out about the health consequences of Argentines feeding her meat and no whole grains for 16 months?" But yeah, we are going to keep working with this investigator and help her realize that abortion is not the solution to her problem. I sure hope we can get through to her.

This week my goal is just to help as many people as I can and express as much love as I can for my investigators, for my companion and for Heavenly Father. I´m going to work as hard as I can and try to leave my area with lots of investigators with baptismal dates.

Thank you for 18 months of support, emails, and letters. I love you and I´ll see you in a week!
Love,
Ellis

P.S. Almost forgot. Priorities for our epic Argentine adventure: visiting converts. I´ve realized I probably won´t be able to see everyone, but top priorities are Celeste and Elvira, Gastón, Evelyn, and Olga in Hurlingham, César, Ariel and Andrés in Ramos (in the villa) and the Banega and Reyes families in Luján. I want to go to church in Luján, because that is the best branch I served in and you will love it. If we have time to make it to Las Heras that would be neat, but my "converts" there may not remember me that well because I wasn´t actually present for their baptisms, so it might be kind of awkward and a lot of travel time. When you arrive we can have "weekly planning" and figure out how to balance convert visiting with visiting dad´s areas and doing cultural stuff, shopping for gifts to bring home, etc. I don´t know what there is to do in the capital, but lots of stuff I´m sure. You will probably, I mean definitely want to see the basilica in Luján (is that an appropriate Sunday activity? Hmm.) We could probably easily visit everyone in Hurlingham and Ramos in one day.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Ellis writes on January 9th

Dear Family,

Thanks for all your emails! This week everyone emailed me except Dan. (get on it, Dan!) Emma-- yes, I would love to speak to the Young Women! We can make plans when I get back. Ben, I will make sure to send the mission hat before I leave the country. Eliza, I hope it helped you to pretend to be me!

Thank yous:
Please tell Grandma Campbell that I got the mini English hymnbook that she sent me in the mail for Christmas. I love it! It is beautiful and I will use it often.

For the information and enjoyment of Mom and Dad and everyone else who sent me Christmas money, I have acquired the following:
* really fun Argentine leather sandals to wear after the mission-- my feet will be blue with north Idaho cold, but incredibly attractive. :)
* a cook book with healthy Argentine recipes (including the best whole wheat muffin recipe ever)
* a stylish Argentine top to wear after the mission
And I still have half of my Christmas money left!
Thanks to everyone!

News of the week:
We postponed Ariel´s baptism because Andrés was late to church last week and didn´t recieve the priesthood as scheduled. I clarify that he was late because he brought three small grandchildren to church walking, not because he slept in. He is perfect. Anyway, this Saturday Ariel will get baptized by his grandpa! My convert is baptizing my convert! I couldn´t be happier. . .well, maybe if Ariel´s mom, Miriam, would come to church. We are working on that.

Aylen (my pregnant investigator) quickly became one of my favorite investigators. She wanted to keep all the commitments we asked her to make and she was very happy to be preparing for baptism. And she was thrilled to see us every time we came over. But then she missed church on Sunday. So we are swinging by tonight to see what happened. I hope everything works out.

Sorry, I wish I had time to write more, but I don´t. I love you all and hope you have a great week doing the things you do! Ben, good luck with that baptism!

Love,
Ellis

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New Year!

Dear Family,

Thanks for all the news and emails. The story about the uni-teddies cracked me up. It would be nice to have one around to protect me from angry street dogs, just in case (though there are many fewer dogs in Ramos than in my other areas).

Last week went much better than the two weeks before! We´ve been struggling with low numbers of lessons with a member present and doing all our contacts. I feel much happier about our performance last week. Even though we continued to have problems with members standing us up, we were able to achieve all 15 lessons with member by teaching family members of recent converts. We also became bolder about challenging people to baptism and were able to help three new people accept baptismal dates.

I have been thinking a lot about how to help my investigators become worthy converts prepared for a lifetime of activity in the church. I have been trying to explain the why behind the commitments we extend and focus our lessons around the commitment we want them to keep. I´m trying really hard and there have been some good results-- two of our investigators, Aylen and Ariel, have been learning to read the Book of Mormon and pray every day. I continue to search for inspiration to know how to help our investigators be more self motivated to keep commitments. I want them to be more excited about reading and praying, etc, on their own. I think that bearing more powerful testimony and explaining the importance of a personal relationship with God might be some of the keys to more improvement.

Last week my testimony of God´s love for me and for everyone increased in strength. I felt like I understood with more power how willing God is to forgive us, how patient he is with us, and how much he wants to help us progress. Feeling God´s love more strongly helped motivate me to have a more positive attitude and keep trying despite my weaknesses. And it made me want to show my love back to Him by constantly improving as a missionary.

New Years was fun but uneventful. We opted to spend our extra hours knocking doors, then returned to the pension to order ice cream during nightly planning. We even went to bed on time. . . though we woke up at midnight to watch the fireworks again. The goal I set for myself this year is to work at applying the Atonement more fully in my life in three main ways: by finding peace and joy even in times of difficulty (have a positive attitude), by pleading for strength from the Atonement to be more patient, diligent, and kind, and by loving myself and others more completely, with more patience and forgiveness.

I´m doing my best to make this the best transfer of my mission-- I want to do as much good as I can in the next month. Our goal is to help four people get baptized. This weekend Ariel, the grandson of my convert, Andrés, is getting baptized. I´m hoping his grandpa will be able to baptize him. That would be really special.

You´ll be happy to know that Hna Pullan is speaking better Spanish every day, participates fully in the lessons and extends commitments, and is learning to develop good working relationships with the bishop and ward members. We have been teaching with more unity lately too. She is fantastic!

Have a wonderful first week of 2012! I´m so glad the world hasn´t ended yet! Haha. Now people will stop asking me my opinion about it all the time.

Love, Hermana Clark

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I Love You!

Dear Family,

It was great to talk to you yesterday. I sure love you and miss you! I was really surprised by how hard it was to hang up. But, hey, we´ll see each other soon.

Here is the story of Aylen, told with more details than I explained yesterday:
Yesterday we brought a new investigator to church. We found her last Thursday. A very important lesson with member had fallen through and we had no appointments to teach. But I decided to have faith that Heavenly Father could guide us to someone prepared. So I tried to have a good attitude and we went to visit an investigator who has been difficult to find lately. When we knocked, her niece, who we hadn´t met before, answered the door and let us in. Her name is Aylen and she used to take the lessons from Elder Moore in Palomar. We started teaching and set a baptismal date with her for the 14 of January! Yesterday she came to church and really loved sacrament meeting. She says she wants to bring her cousin and her boyfriend with her next week! Aylen is a miracle. This experience reminded me of the importance of having faith and a positive attitude. Heavenly Father isn´t going to bless me with a miracle investigator every time I choose to have faith despite challenges, but I know he will help me to achieve better results in all my efforts if I exercise my faith and think positively.

One of the things I want to do this week is to use the mission goal of 15 lessons with a member present per week to help our investigators. Last week we only taught 7 lessons with a member. We had more lessons planned, but lately all the members have been standing us up. But I think maybe if we talk to them more about the individual investigators and explain to them what each investigator needs from them personally, they will follow through on their commitment to come teach with us. If they can love the investigators like we do, they will ask us to let them come teach! So this week I will plan better so both the members and investigators can have spiritual experiences in the lessons.

I was thinking today about how important it is that everyone knows that God loves them and that other people love them. Love is the most effective motivator. Love for us motivated Christ to endure inexpressable suffering to save us, love for Christ motivated the original apostles to keep preaching at risk of martyrdom, that same love motivated the pioneers to cross the plains through rain and snow. People who feel loved by others and by God despite their errors are willing to keep trying to change in the face of debilitating addictions. And if these people feel enough love, they achieve those changes and come unto Christ. Love always wins. Despite challenges and suffering and temptations and great wickedness, in the end Heavenly Father and Christ´s love will save everyone who learns to truly love Them back. Love covers our imperfections. If we strive to love God and others, we will naturally be motivated to perfect our imperfections and Heavenly Father and Christ´s love will forgive and heal our imperfections, even the ones we don´t have time to overcome in this life. That is why love is the first and great commandment. True love will motivate you to keep all the commandments, and love is the motor of the grace that will save you after all that you can do.

I want each of you to know how much God loves you. Every day he watches you and is thrilled to have children as fantastic as you are. He loves you for your faithfulness in the preexistence, for your honest efforts in this life, and for your divine, eternal potential in the next life. He is proud of every advance you make, however small. He is patient with your imperfections. His love for you is constant, regardless of your success or your mistakes. He thinks the world of you. He could spend more time telling good things about you than any one else you know.
And I want you to know how much I love each of you. My love can´t possibly compare to Heavenly Father´s, but it has grown a lot during my mission. I think I have the best family ever! I tell other people stories about you. I tell other missionaries and investigators how wonderful I think you are. I have special memories of each one of you, and I am excited to make more memories with you when I come home! I am thrilled every time I get an email or a letter from one of you, even when I don´t have time to respond. My family wouldn´t be complete or as cool if any one of you was missing. I think you are fantastic! Mom, Dad, Eliza, Ben, Emma, and Dan, I love you!

Love,
Hermana Clark

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Highlight of the Week was Sunday

Dear Family,

The highlight of this week was Sunday, so I will tell about it first. Hna Pullan and I woke up at 6:30 as usual and hurried to get ready and out the door by 7:45 so we could pick up Javier and Marilín, our Paraguayan shoemaker investigators (they are from Paraguay and make Argentine shoes, in case you were confused about my adjective placement). We left at 7:52, but after a short walk across the tracks and through deserted streets, we still managed to arrive early (that doesn´t happen very often.) We knocked on the door of J and M´s one room orange brick and cement apartment/shoe workshop. After a long wait, a very sleepy, pajama clad Javier answered the door. He told us Marilín had to stay home because Jorgito, their 1 1/2 year old son (the only baby I´ve every seen with a visible mustache, but incredibly cute), had a fever. . . but he said he would come. So we waited outside while Javier quickly showered and got dressed (I wish I could get ready that fast!) Miraculously we didn´t miss the bus and we arrived at the chapel just in time to see a sister with long curly hair step out of a remis (taxi) with four little girls. Then she turned around and I realized she was Ramona, our investigator! She came to church BY HERSELF, IN A SKIRT, HER FIRST TIME! I have had a few especially elect investigators arrive by themselves the first time (Mario and Celeste and Olga), but none of them showed up in Sunday clothes. And her daughters Cintia (10) and Milagros (5) and her granddaughter (6ish, can´t remember her name), were in skirts too! They looked like members already! I was so proud! There is an emotional high you can only get from seeing your investigators go to church for the first time. I felt so happy as I entered the church building with Javier, Ramona, and the girls. Convienently the bishop was standing there in the entrance. I had an enormous smile on my face as I introduced him to Ramona and Javier. The meetings went perfectly. Cintia, Milagros, and their niece immediately went to their primary class without clinging to Ramona. And even though the Relief Society lesson was on the final judgement, Ramona seemed to like it and feel befriended by the other sisters. She also said she liked the Gospel Doctrine class--topic:Family History and Temple Work-- and didn´t seem too overwhelmed by the rather inadequate explanations (I thought) of doctrine completely foreign to her. Javier went to a different class with the young single adults (I hope he explained he isn´t single), but seemed to like it. He said he wants to come next week!

Other news: On Friday night, the assistants called us and dropped another bombshell: they want us to go back to the villa! Apparently Bishop Paz has been really concerned about the progressing investigators we left in the villa because the assistants haven´t had much time lately to work in their area (President Carter keeps them really busy. They couldn´t even come to church this Sunday because they had to go to a stake conference somewhere else). So the assistants decided it would be best for the investigators if the area division was erased and we came back to the villa to go back to teaching our old investigators! They´ll keep teaching the investigators they have found, but we get to keep teaching Andrés´ family and our other investigators we gave them. At first I was frustrated that the assistants were changing the plan again and freaked out because I didn´t know how we were going to be able to divide our time between areas. And there was the fact that I had put a lot of mental energy into not being resentful of handing all my investigators over to other missionaries and being sent to a part of the area with no investigators. I had really gotten used to it because the mission is just like that; we hear all the time that we have to accept the transfer changes and just work where we are called. I´m used to liking what I´m given, not being given what I wanted. So I was freaked out until I realized they were actually giving me what I wanted and that it was okay to get what I wanted. I realized that I would be THRILLED to go back to the villa and be able to visit my converts and keep teaching my old investigators.

Well, I´m out of time, but thanks to everyone for your emails. Ben, I'm glad you aren´t so sick any more. One thing we try here to get investigators to come to church is offer to make them pancakes or brownies and go to their house to eat breakfast with them before going to church together. Maybe you can make your investigators some sweet avocado smoothies to lure them to sacrament meeting. Anyway, I don´t know if that would work in Brazil, but sometimes it works here. Or you can get members to accompany you to the lessons and make the member invite the investigator to church-- that was what we did with Javier this week. Getting investigators to church is hard, but keep trying! You can do it!

Phone call thoughts: I think I can maybe call during the times you mentioned. A family invited us over for lunch on Sunday, so I´m not sure exactly what time I would call. I´ll confirm plans next week. A conference call would be pretty cool. Could I do that with a calling card from a bishop´s office phone?

I love you and I am so proud of all of you for all the cool things you are doing. Mom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY on Sunday! Dad, I liked your sacrament talk. Dan, your interview made me smile! Eliza and Emma, as usual you are amazing me with your general smartness and talented-ness and funny quoting abilities. I love you all!
Love,
Ellis

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A nice insight

Dear Mom, Dad, Eliza, Ben, Emma, and Dan,

Thanks for all your emails this week. Well, Dan, you didn´t email, but thanks for your burnt letter that I got in the mail last week. I wish I had time to respond to all of you personally, but Sister Pullan and I lost track of time this P-day so we started internet late and have very little time.

I was really excited to hear that Dad is going to be the first counselor in the ward. I am sure he will be great. The new ward sounds nice. I am glad the Fifes, Carmans and Nielsens are still in the ward. It would have been weird without them. Though it will be weird not to have Mark Wray as our home teacher! And it´s weird that the Smiths, Penningtons, Mosmans, etc., won´t be in our ward anymore (if I understood the boundaries right). But I´m sure now you guys (and eventually me) will make lots of interesting new friendships and have lots of interesting, positive experiences being in a smaller ward.

So this morning I had kind of a positive maturity developing life experience. We had a meeting in the mission office for the new missionaries and trainers. I was sitting there having a moment of feeling overwhelmed and under-confident and worried about the last two months of my mission and thinking that I really wanted to have an interview with President Carter to just express all that and ask for advice, when I realized that I was really just wanting someone in authority to affirm that I was doing a good job as a missionary in spite of my weaknesses. And I realized that the real problem is having to look for affirmation from someone in authority instead of taking responsibility for my performance and recognizing on my own what I´m doing well and what I need to improve. And I thought about how much more important it is to figure out if God is pleased with me and my efforts than if the mission president is pleased with me (though I really value President Carter´s approval.) So I decided to stop freaking out and take initiative and responsibility for my own life and my own mission. I don´t need someone in authority to give me the magic vote of approval--- I can decide with the Spirit (and with patience with and kindness for myself) how I´m doing and what I can work on. Not that it is wrong to seek advice from leaders, in moderation, but today was just one of those times I needed to figure things out on my own.

Yikes! Why does introspection have to become so lengthy? Other brief news of the week:

* we found Carmen (45 or 50-ish), who met missionaries 13 years ago but then lost contact and lost her Book of Mormon. She was excited to hear more of the message after so long and to receive another copy of the Book of Mormon. She is a little hesitant about going to church (she wants to know more first), but I think she can progress and get baptized. She has a lot of questions about life after death too!

* we found Ramona, the mother of an old contact of other sisters who we had barely started to teach. She is married, has 7 kids, and really wanted to come to church! She invited herself and repeated several times that she felt she had to go to church even though she didn´t know why. She said she feels good when we teach her. We were disappointed because on Sunday she ended up getting stuck with two grandchildren who weren´t picked up on time by their parents and was afraid to take the two of them plus two of her own kids to church and didn´t end up coming. (run on sentence. oh well.) But hopefully she will come next week.

* Sister Pullan and I are becoming really good friends and learning lots together. I´m going to try even harder this week to be a good trainer and help her start her mission off well!

I got your Christmas packages today. I already opened the envelope, and I´m glad I did because I loved the history of Dad´s mission. I showed it to all the missionaries who were there in the office for the meeting and they thought it was really cool. Thanks, Dad!

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I´m sorry I didn´t have time to write everyone personally! I love you!

Love,
Hermana Clark

Monday, November 28, 2011

I Kept My Eyes Open During the Confirmation...

Dear Mom and Dad,

Last night I opened the mail I got last week: a couple letters from Grandma Campbell and a letter from Mom with lots of letters inside. One of the letters in Mom´s envelope was from Dan. I especially liked Dan´s letter. He burned the edges to make it look more adventurous or something. Dan´s letters are fantastic. They always make me smile. I have the "mirror of reflection for when you are down" that he drew me pinned to my half of the bulletin board next to my desk. I still want to read his story about the tomatoes.

This week was really great. Here is the brief version of the notable but not that exciting stuff:

* We went to the capital to do paperwork for Hna Pullan´s visa on Friday. Then we went out for pizza with some of the other elders who went.
* Our zone leaders came to our weekly planning session and helped us plan. We learned a lot.
* Elder Godfrey came on divisions with us (accompanied by two pre-missionaries from the ward so it wouldn´t be scandalous) to meet all our investigators in the villa. It was hard to part with them, but I think it will be for the best.

Now for the best part: ANDRÉS WAS BAPTIZED AND CONFIRMED! About ten of his daughters and grandkids came to his baptism, which made it really special. They filled up the whole front row of the chapel! Andrés stood up to give his testimony in his baptism and started crying really hard. He cries really easily. I think he was really happy to be baptized. Afterwards we invited Andrés´s family to eat refreshments: fancy crustless sandwiches ordered by the ward mission leader. I think they felt pretty welcome. Andrés told us his daughters are really proud of him for giving up smoking. I am too! Not even one relapse! He is amazing! I hope he can keep it up after his baptism. I think he will.

Andrés´s confirmation was really neat too. He told me beforehand that he was even more excited to be confirmed than to be baptized. In the mission I´ve learned to appreciate the moment of the confirmation more than I did before. There is something powerful about seeing men holding the power of God encircle someone and bestow a heavenly gift as essential as the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost. I kept my eyes open for a little bit during Andrés´ confirmation, and watched his face. He seemed to look younger than usual, and at peace. Now two of his grandkids and one of his daughters have baptismal goal dates! One of his daughters who missed the baptism and her son and another grandkid came to see the confirmation. I suggested to the assistants that we should show them the baptismal font and invite them to be baptized. So they did it, and Deborah, Axel, and Ariel accepted! That was pretty neat. The assistants will be teaching them because Andrés and his family live in the villa that is no longer part of our area, but I´m still really happy about it.

Well, I´m out of time as always, so this is it for the week. Thanks for keeping your letters mostly free of comments and ideas about my post mission life. It´s been a little bit harder to focus lately because I´m constantly reminded (by other missionaries or by myself) that I don´t have very much time left. I´m trying not to count the days or anything lame like that, because I want the last two months to be the best months. Especially because I want to give Hna Pullan a great start on her mission.

Oops. One little post mission detail. I`m pretty sure I wrote on some BYU form that I would be coming back for Winter semester (January to April). I´m allowed to come back as late as Fall semester of 2012, but I think I need to tell BYU that I won´t really be back until Spring or Fall. Mom, can you look into that and see what, if anything, needs to be done? Ugh. I really don´t want to think about that because I really have no idea what to do with those empty months before I can go back to school. I try to cheerfully imagine (thought not too often or while I´m tracting) spending lots of great family time together, but the truth is that everyone will be in school or at work. I, obviously, will need to work too, and figure out the rest of my life/school/career plans. . . that´s enough. When I get back in January I´ll figure it out. Until then I´m trying not to think about any of that. Please keep helping me out with that by not writing more than ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY about coming home.

Well, have a great week. I love you!

Love,
Ellis