Ellis Has Some Introspection about Herself and Her Mission

Dear Mom and Dad,

Transfers are next Monday. My old companions would spend lots of time mapping out their predictions and gossiping over the phone to the other sisters. President Benton has cracked down on phone conversations between the sisters (which I didn´t really participate in anyway), so no gossip for me, but I did sink to the level of making transfer predictions for the first time. I think my new companion will be Hermana Danes, Hna. Schneider´s MTC companion, and I think Hna. Schneider is going to Las Heras. But the other sister´s predictions were often wildly wrong, so we´ll see.

The big thing this last week of the transfer will be organizing Celeste´s baptism. She is the daughter of Elvira, our last convert. She was going to be baptized this coming Saturday, but during sacrament meeting Bishop Lorenzon felt impressed to move the baptism to Sunday so that more members could come. He told that to the ward over the pulpit and said that baptism was an event that merited the support and attendance of the whole ward, not just of 3 or 4 members. He is right. Baptism is one of the most important decisions a person can make in their life, and when only a few people show up it is just sad. I hope lots of people come to Celeste´s baptism and I hope that you guys will attend the next convert baptism the ward has.

Saturday was my 10 month mark in the mission. It is almost scary how fast time flies here. I feel like I still have a lot left to accomplish. I had a moment of reminiscing on Saturday and had a sort of ephiphany. These last two transfers have not been easy, but they were important. I needed to be reminded that Heavenly Father and Jesus love me all the time-- when I´m being the very best missionary I can and when I feel like I´m struggling to keep up with the basics. They loved me before my mission when I knew much less, was less diligent and less confident. They loved me when I learned more about the gospel, became more diligent and dedicated, and gained more confidence. And they love me now, exactly where I am and how I am, even when where I am and how I am deeply distress me at times. Mom wrote to me in one of her letters, "I love you. I always have. I always will." Now I understand better that Heavenly Father and Jesus feel exactly the same way about me. I´m sure the next 8 months will be full of even more important lessons, some of which may be just as hard to learn as this one was. And as much as I learn and as hard as I try to improve, and as much as I really do improve, when I leave the mission I still won´t be a perfect missionary. I will still be able to make a list a mile long of all the things I don´t do quite right. But I will have learned and improved and grown in ways I couldn´t have imagined. And as distressingly (to me) imperfect as I will still be, Heavenly Father and Jesus will still love me perfectly, exactly like they always have. And always will.

Thanks, Mom, for your email last week. I printed it and read it every day. It really helped me, and it´s still helping. Thank you!

Dad, I agree with you about the merits of a gustonian vacation as Adam would say. I want to see photos of all the barnacles you pick up snorkeling. :) Even in the mission, when I´m going going going all the time (well, sort of), doing more on P day is often more "relaxing", or maybe rejuvenating, than doing less.

I hope you all have an excellent week. I love you!
Love, Ellis
P.S. I read Danny´s courage story today. I haven´t been so entertained for a long time. I could live the missionary life of no music or movies indefinitely if Danny sent me stories every week of my life. What other nine year old uses the phrase "god-forsaken" (as in, I got so mad that I hurried down the godforsaken mountain.)? And the part where he said the car looked like an angel-- fantastic. A+, Danny. Thanks!